The Victory Vault's telephones and Computronic 900 have been almost overloaded this morning with readers wanting to know exactly what is up with the Radium Chimps.
Well...it all started with research done by the late Professor Dom Braunt back in 1895. He hypothesized that if one were to allow a chimp to play various games of chance and fancy for at least twelve hours a day they would in fact become smarter and less prone to leap on their owners chest and gnaw their face off.
This is true as we all now know but the late Professor learned too late that it also increased their competitive spirit by at least 34% and if not watched carefully would result in small wars of feces flinging mayhem.
Standing on the late Professor's shoulders as it were, my chimps are raised on a strict diet of retrogaming for ten hours a day, I find their intelligence is increased by 60% and with small three hour breaks where they can grow strong digging with pickaxes in my Radium mines I can be sure that I have loyal subjects. Generally.
How I've created said mines,well, that is my secret.